Quiet

I took my daughter to see her friend perform in a youth theater performance of, “Matilda, the Musical.” When Matilda sang, “Quiet,” I started crying because the sentiment resonated so deeply within me. She sings about her jumbled thoughts in her head, “and the noise in my head is incredibly loud.” Then suddenly, her head and the external noise turn off and everything, everything is......

“Quiet,

Like silence, but not really silent.

Just that still sort of quiet.

Like the sound of a page being turned in a book

Or a pause in a walk in the woods.

Quiet.”

May I be kind to myself. May I accept myself as I am.

Oh how I crave this! As I first close my eyes when I sit to meditate in my garden, I am struck by an immense awareness of the layers of existence around me. I will hear a low hum of a distant freeway, an occasional lawnmower, birds singing closer in my trees interjected with voices from the street.... another bird call (is that a parrot?)....speeding motorcycle (probably doing a wheelie down the center lane of the highway)...then the low, steady gurgle of the hot tub pump running......quick flapping (is that a hummingbird?)... a dog barking at the UPS truck (when will he stop!?!)...piano notes through an open window (Oooh, what is she playing?).....Spinning, spinning and with one more breath I release all my thoughts......with another I go deeper into my heart.....for that quiet.

Wendy Paquette said in her “Crossroads to Awakening” podcast that meditation time is the only time you are given permission to just be yourself. There is nowhere you have to go and nothing you have to do. There are no expectations. Just sit (or stand, walk, or lie down) with yourself and BE.

Our essence of being is not valued as much as our accolades and accomplishments in Western Society. Even as peaceful warriors like Michael Franti and Pema Chodron speak of the value of our being, we don't believe it. As Matilda sang, “Quiet,” I realized how exhausted I was by the noise, the expectations, the busy-ness of my current existence. Oh how I long for more moments of quiet in my own life without self-judgement against “non-doing.”

When I am able to “steal” time away from providing for layers of subsistence and can just be, I am more content and less reactionary. I have more faith that I am on the right path. And I feel that my soul's essence is able to shine through it's ego overcoat more frequently. This is after a 10 minute meditation session. Can you imagine what our daily life could be like if we all made time for this.....quiet? Even if the quiet is just temporary like Matilda implies at the end of the song with, “like I've sailed into the eye of the storm,” we would be able to brave the other side of the storm so much better.

In this time of quiet, we can process and integrate our past wisdom. In this calm openness, we are a conduit to receive cosmic messages. In this peace, we can develop a stronger relationship with our soul. And in this space, we can feel free and loved. For a short moment we are not judged for what we do but just loved for being who we are, every single messy one of us.